Paradise . . . with your parents (and kids)
My husband put his hand on top of mine as we stood side by side on our villa's balcony.
We watched a lone sailboat drift by. We stared at the transparent blue water and St. Martin's scenic mountains on the horizon. We inhaled the humid, tropical air and basked in the silence.
Then, a shriek came from inside our villa.
"JaaaaaMIEEEEEEE???!" shouted my mother from several rooms away. "Where is JJ's Elmo book?!!"
So, our vacation to the Eden-like Caribbean island of Anguilla comes with a catch: My parents are here with us. So are our two toddler-age children, my sister and her husband.
Anyone who's traveled with three generations of their family knows it can be the best of times or the worst of times.
Familial harmony hinges on whether everyone's interests, appetites, budgets and sleep schedules are accommodated. Romance and privacy are sacrificed for group outings and togetherness.
But I believe the pros of multigenerational travel far outweigh the cons. And a quiet, luxurious island like Anguilla is a great place to make family memories.
Celebrity hangout
First, a little primer on Anguilla (pronounced an-gwill-ah). It's a small, sleepy island in the British West Indies that, in recent years, has transformed into a vacation spot for the rich and famous.
Many of the resorts here are very hoity-toity -- like the $48,000-a-week African Sapphire Villa at Altamer. A few comparable ones are now being built, and private mansions dot the shorelines. You never see crowds, not even at the most popular beaches and restaurants.
This combination of luxury and privacy attracts more celebrities than an award show red carpet. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston broke up in Anguilla. The Clintons spent a recent Christmas here. Robert DeNiro and Beyonce are regulars. As a result, just about every taxi driver, masseuse or waiter can share stories about their A-list encounters.
Getting to Anguilla typically begins with a flight to St. Martin -- a bustling cruise ship destination that will make you appreciate Anguilla's quietness that much more.
While it's possible to continue directly to Anguilla by ferry or chartered jet, we opted to park our winter-weary selves in St. Martin (the French side of the dual-nationality island) for two days. We wanted time to acclimate and to get used to wearing shorts, flip-flops and eating fresh fruit and fish all day.
One of the first things we did was visit the St. Martin Butterfly Farm. Colorful insects flutter around inside this landscaped, net-covered "farm." The short tour includes a joke-filled explanation of the different butterfly species and how they are born.
It turned out to be a great all-ages activity, as my parents and my kids bonded with dozens of "Oh, look at this one!" moments.
My kids laughed all day after learning that one type of butterfly protects itself from predators by disguising itself as poop (from then on, it was "We saw the Poop Butterfly!").
The most popular activities on St. Martin, of course, involve the beach. Many of St. Martin's beaches throb with music and activity, as does the port area. It teems with touristy gift shops, restaurants and an open marketplace. It's pretty much the anti-Anguilla.
However, a 20-minute ferry ride lands you a world away, in Anguilla's main town, which consists of a police station, a one-room university and a few tiny shops. Forget about nightclubs or casinos; there's not really even a place to buy souvenirs.
That's another great thing about Anguilla as a family destination: There aren't 500 activities to do, which can cause a family to splinter. There are spas, pristine white sand beaches, a few golf courses and a handful of restaurants. That's about it. It's up to you to make your own fun.
A driver picked us up from the water taxi port and drove us to our marble-floored, fully appointed seven-bedroom villa in the new Sheriva at Sheriton Estates (not affiliated with the Sheraton hotel chain).
We had our own chef, Santiago -- who said he was a celebrity chef on Dominican Republic TV -- who prepared our meals each day, including hot dogs carved into flowers for the kids.
We were given an eight-seater golf cart to use, and while it wasn't recommended for island touring, it was perfect for taking our crew on the two-minute drive to the beach at the neighboring Cap Juluca resort.
While Anguilla offers a few pricey activities, such as a $450 round of golf or a $6,000 private jet tour, our goal was to lie low. We preferred the budget-friendly activity of sticking our feet in the soft white sand and reading books, or floating around in our villa's infinity-edged pool with its stunning views of St. Martin.
Anguilla's Shoal Bay Beach is touted as having the whitest sand on the planet, but unfortunately, five days of rain prevented us from seeing that.
Instead, during our short peeks of sun, we enjoyed the beach at Cap Juluca. As guests of Sheriva, we could use its towels, chairs and various water sport equipment at no charge.
While the kids played in the sand or trolled for shells, my husband and I snorkeled along the rocks and found an impressive amount of colorful fish. My brother-in-law enjoyed complimentary water skiing, and one day, my mom and I pampered ourselves with massages at Cap Juluca's wonderfully unpretentious spa.
One rainy day, we took a van tour of the island, going past million-dollar mansions, scenic overviews and missing both of the island's two stop lights.
Our favorite family lunch was at Scilly Cay, a private island that consists solely of an open-air restaurant. Getting there requires about a 30-second boat ride, which instantly adds an element of fun to the meal.
Once you arrive, you place your order and then lounge on the beach, snorkel or chit chat with the friendly owner, Eudoxie Wallace. He nicknamed himself "Gorgeous" because he said one day he looked in the mirror and decided that's what he was.
I recommend ordering the grilled fresh lobster ($25). It takes awhile to cook, but the result is a succulent, flavorful lobster tail -- the size of your forearm -- bathed in "Scilly Cay sauce." You'll say "Mmmm!" out loud with each bite. The chicken and crayfish are also menu favorites.
Since multi-generation travel is all about making memories, we most certainly did that in Anguilla. The kids would proudly show their grandparents the seashells they collected; the whole rhythmically challenged family danced to the DJ's music while waiting for dinner at one seaside restaurant; and my mom overused bubble bath in her whirlpool tub, creating a 3-foot wall of bubbles around her (when she cried out for help, we ran in, laughed and snapped pictures).
Naturally, we also had a few tense moments, mostly out of frustration over our terrible weather. I got a little pouty sometimes when other members of my family opted to nap or read rather than help me entertain the kids one rainy day.
But when the sun shone, Anguilla was a heavenly place.
On our last night, we had a special dinner at Cap Juluca's five-star restaurant, Pimms. I wouldn't recommend it for kids, so it worked out nicely that my husband, who hates fancy food, asked to stay back at the villa and eat hot dogs with the kids.
The rest of the adults enjoyed a scrumptious feast at a table along the water featuring delicious wine, rich desserts and a waitstaff that stood at attention and catered to our every wish.
"To family," my mom said, raising her wine glass to toast.
Yes. To family.
Tips for family vacation survival
• Don't require everyone to be together 24/7, but do make a point to all gather together for at least one meal or activity per day.
• Pick a place that everyone is equally excited about, and suitable for all age groups and budgets.
• Spread out. Don't try to cram everyone into one or two bedrooms to save a few bucks. Spend the extra money so everyone has ample living space.
• Income levels should not dictate who pays for what. Unless prior arrangements are made, be prepared to divide the bills equally.
• Bite your tongue. It's tempting to nitpick your family members, but do your best to keep your complaints to yourself.
• Be in the moment. Don't think of it as "your" vacation but "our" vacation. Appreciate that you are all healthy and financially able to be on this trip together.
Fun in the sun … minus the sun
Bad weather can be a major downer on a tropical vacation. As someone who's experienced this, I can offer a few tips on how to make the best of it:
• First, the obvious: sleep and read.
• Prepare a feast. If your villa has kitchen facilities, take one trip to the local grocery store and fill your cart with your favorite foods. Remember, you're on vacation. No counting calories.
• Spas. Waiting out a bad weather system isn't so bad when you're being rubbed, wrapped and pampered. The downside: It can add up to big $$$.
• Exercise. Find a gym and put in a long, sweaty workout.
• Sing. Hold a sing- and dance-along to a local radio station. In my case, my brother-in-law brought his guitar, so we had live music, too.
• Paper and pencil games. We like "Celebrity," a game where you take turns trying to describe someone famous or historical without saying their name.
• Impromptu book group meetings. Select a book that everyone has read and analyze it.
• Go out anyway. Rain in 80-degree weather can sometimes feel good, especially after this harsh Chicago winter.
If you go
Anguilla, B.W.I.
Go: If you like luxury, privacy and quiet, white sand beaches
No: If you're on a budget, like a lot of organized activities and want to party until dawn
Need to know: Anguilla Tourist Board, (877) 426-4845, www.anguilla-vacation.com
Getting there: American Airlines flies from Chicago to Anguilla with a stop in Puerto Rico. Several airlines have one-stop service to St. Maarten (the Dutch side of the dual-nationality island). WinAir flies from St. Maarten to Anguilla, but the ferry ride is only $15 each way and takes 30 minutes.
By: Jamie Sotonov
Paradise . . . with your parents (and kids)